


Dust in Sunlight

by the_genderman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Erectile Dysfunction, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Dysfunction, Trans Steve Rogers, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 08:52:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17557232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_genderman/pseuds/the_genderman
Summary: Soft, gentle PWP. Learning to embrace your imperfections.





	Dust in Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> This is canon-divergent, I haven’t decided how much after CA:TWS happened or didn’t happen, but Bucky does not have his metal arm as part of a deal where he would have it removed in order for him to reenter society because it is classified as a weapon. Steve was a little annoyed at first that the courts (or whoever) decided it was a weapon rather than a prosthetic, but he’s simmered down a little since Bucky was like “honestly, I don’t mind. Less HYDRA I have to think about on a daily basis, at any rate.”
> 
> Also, in the parts where we’re seeing things from Bucky’s PoV (or as close to PoV as my ficlets get), he can be considered somewhat of an unreliable narrator due to being in the early-ish stages of his ongoing recovery.
> 
> Edit: ooops, I fixed it now, but I somehow managed to tag this MCD. I promise it is not.

Steve combs Bucky’s hair gently back and nuzzles sleepily into the curve of his neck and shoulder, pressing early-morning kisses to the scars where his arm used to be. He curls an arm around Bucky’s chest, gently petting him, light touches of his fingertips tracing over his skin, through his hair. Bucky yawns and blinks slowly against the light filtering in through the curtains, motes of dust sparkling in the sun. He shifts and stretches, dislodging Steve for a moment. 

“You sure are handsy this morning,” Bucky murmurs. “Why?”

“Because I get to wake up to you,” Steve replies, planting another kiss on Bucky’s shoulder before rolling over and pushing himself up into a sitting position. He reaches down to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair again, tucking it back behind his ear.

They’re both silent for a moment. Bucky stretches his limbs out slowly, delaying having to actually get up. Steve simply smiles down at him, rubbing little circles between his shoulder blades.

“And yes, I know what you’re thinking. _All_ of you,” Steve replies to Bucky’s unspoken question. “And I’ll keep telling you this until you believe it.”

Bucky finally sits up, yawning deeply as he crosses his legs into a sitting position, blanket loose across his lap. He tugs it further up, covering himself automatically. “ _All_ of me?” he asks, his voice flat and skeptical, one eyebrow raised in question. 

Steve wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly at Bucky, poking his tongue into one cheek suggestively.

“Why? It doesn’t even work most of the time,” Bucky grumbles, hand in his lap, gripping and twisting at the edge of the blanket.

“It still feels good, doesn’t it?” Steve asks, swinging one leg off the edge of the bed. “But I won’t keep asking if you don’t want to.”

Bucky gives a noncommittal hum.

Steve leans over, kisses him on the cheek, and murmurs an “I love you,” before swinging his other leg over the side of the bed and starting towards the bathroom.

Bucky sighs. “Wait…”

Steve pauses, anticipation in his body language. He turns his head to look at Bucky over his shoulder.

“Yeah, but I just don’t understand what you’re getting out of it,” Bucky says slowly, letting go of the blanket, letting it slip off his thigh as he shifts to face more towards Steve. “Is it really worth it?”

Steve smiles, soft and light, all the way up to his eyes. He climbs back up onto the bed, crosses his legs, and leans in. He cups one hand around Bucky’s jaw, thumb caressing his cheek, slow and soothing. “It isn’t just about sex, it isn’t just about hard bodies, hard cocks, sweat and come. It’s the intimacy. It’s about touching you, it’s about you _letting_ me touch you. It’s about sharing these moments with you. It’s about seeing each other’s imperfections and being all the more in love for it.”

“Pfft, you don’t have imperfections,” Bucky says with a little smile and a shake of his head.

“Thank you for the positive outlook, but yes, I do,” Steve counters. “Plus, I have a therapist just like you do, you know. And even if I _was_ somehow ‘perfect’ now, you saw more than enough of my imperfections before I got this body.”

Bucky lowers his eyes for a moment. Steve leans in to kiss his forehead. Bucky exhales the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Now, are you gonna get those pants off?” Steve asks, light and teasing.

“You first,” Bucky replies.

“As you wish,” Steve says, climbing back off the bed. He turns to face Bucky again and, with a swooping, exaggerated bow, he crosses his arms, grabs the hem of his shirt, and pulls it over his head in one fluid motion as he straightens up again. He tosses it aside and combs his fingers through his hair, getting the static out of it. Bucky watches eagerly as Steve tugs at the waistband of his pants, shimmying them down his hips. Steve kneels down at the edge of the bed and looks up at Bucky from under his brows, almost smirking.

Bucky lays back, lifts his hips off the mattress, and awkwardly maneuvers his loose sleep pants down. He’s had the metal arm off just long enough to be somewhat used to not being able to do what he used to, but not long enough to be fully accustomed to only having the one arm. He gets them far enough down to be able to lift one leg to hook his toes around the waistband and kick them off in a tangle. He scoots to the edge of the bed and spreads his legs into a wide V, framing them around Steve. He glances down, seeing his cock, soft and wrinkly, and sighs. He doesn’t think it’s anything special to look at, but if Steve likes it…

“May I?” Steve asks, not moving in until he gets the go-ahead.

“You may,” Bucky answers after a brief pause.

Steve nods and places one hand on Bucky’s left thigh, giving it a quick, reassuring squeeze. He caresses his hand up to the hollow and down to the knee, his palm flat, fingers splayed, feeling every hair, every scar, every inch of warm skin and solid muscle under it that he can touch. He leans in, pressing his cheek to Bucky’s thigh, letting his short morning stubble tickle briefly before turning to press his lips to Bucky’s skin. He kisses a slow line up until he reaches the joint, pressing his nose into Bucky’s pubic hair. He nuzzles in, fingers tracing almost impossibly lightly down the shaft of Bucky’s cock, circling around the crown of the glans. 

Bucky sucks in a breath, stomach hollowing briefly, but his cock is still inert. It usually is. Sure, it feels good, and Steve _says_ he likes doing it, but he can’t help but feel a little like Steve’s being cheated out of the full experience. Steve catches him a little off guard, he gasps as he’s drawn out of his distracted, wandering thoughts; Steve’s lips wrap around his glans, one hand cupping and fondling his balls. 

Steve’s tongue teases, dancing around the head, flicking over the frenulum, as he slowly takes more of Bucky’s cock into his mouth. Even if Bucky’s skeptical about his motives, Steve is grateful that he allows him such intimate moments as this. _Especially_ considering his skepticism. Bucky could easily say no, I don’t want this, I don’t like this, I don’t know what you still see in me, I’m broken and I’m not interested. But he trusts him, even if he professes that he doesn’t understand his reasons. He’s allowed Steve into his orbit, into his life, into his bed. Steve is grateful. He hollows his cheeks and sucks deeper.

Bucky grunts and digs his fingers more tightly into the bedsheet. He squeezes his eyes shut and tips his head back, lips parting slightly. It _does_ feel good when Steve does this. When he presses soft kisses to his thighs, pretending like he doesn’t mind the scars. When he kisses, licks, sucks at his cock, flaccid though it may be. Bucky may not fully understand _why_ Steve does what he does, but he _does_ appreciate it. Even when he can’t get hard, even when he doesn’t come, Steve is still willing to try with him. Bucky is grateful. He moans a few words of encouragement.

Steve hums and bobs, lips and tongue sliding wetly up and down the shaft of Bucky’s cock. He hasn’t felt even so much as a twitch, but he doesn’t _need_ Bucky to get hard for him. It feels far deeper in trust, in love, that Bucky allows him this. There’s no frantic drive towards orgasm, no desperate scramble to find just the right spots at just the right moments to drive each other wild with pleasure. Simply a quiet moment of understated intimacy. He likes making Bucky feel good, however it may take its form. He likes being able to do this for him, to look up at him and see those rare, unguarded moments where Bucky is simply enjoying himself without wondering if he deserves it. He closes his eyes and keeps sucking, making sure it’s as good for Bucky as he can make it.

Bucky lets Steve continue for as long as he’s comfortable. He doesn’t want to say he’s getting _bored_ , because he’s not, but he’s also not sure how long Steve is willing to keep going without a concrete end in sight. Maybe someday they’ll try to find out, but not this morning. He reaches down and places his hand on Steve’s cheek, fingers curving around his jaw and gently lifting. 

“Is that you saying you’re done?” Steve asks, voice a little rough, letting Bucky’s cock slip free from his mouth. 

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna call myself as done as I’m gonna get,” Bucky replies. “But, if you want, you can come back up here and I’ll take care of you, too.”

“I won’t say no if you’re offering,” Steve smirks, climbing to his feet.


End file.
